One of Those Times

(Sigh) It's been one of those moments. One of those days. Well more like one of those weeks. My favorite brother came for a short visit. ( I can say this because I only have one) It was wonderful. Z arrived on a glorious, sunny Tuesday. Made me feel like a Queen the whole time he visited. Opened doors for me. Helped with the kids when he sensed I was stressing out. Made me wonder why some men fall out of their charming ways after they get married. (Note to self, let my brother know that he still has to be charming after he's married. I'm sure he will. He's awesome that way)

Wednesday: He got a taste of what it's like in a preschool class. hehehehe It was my day to volunteer and he kindly came along. He was a BIG help. We spent the rest of the day playing with Little Man and getting whacked around with some foam swords. Made a visit to the Urgent Care Pediatrics. You see Babe hasn't had a poopy diaper in 14 days. Today was day 15 and she needed to be checked out. I did the juice (various kinds), taking an anal temp, pumping and putting Miralax in it. Nothing seemed to be working. I get to the clinic, fill out the paperwork, pay the $50 co-pay, and sit down. The grunting begins. Again. Again. Again. I smell something horribly wonderful and groan. Girl! Why did you wait until I paid the co-pay? Still wanted to have her seen to make sure she's fine. She was. Nothing wrong. Just had a MASSIVE blowout at the doctor's office. Great. I mean seriously. I had never been so happy to see poop in my life. :)

Thursday: Spent the WHOLE day at Disneyland. Word of advice if you ever have a person with you that wants to hit the rides at Disneyland find the "Single Rider" line. He hit almost EVERY single big kid ride. Tower of Terror was his favorite. One day I'll get my dad on that one. Just to hear him scream. If you have ever heard my dad scream on theme park rides you would understand. We stayed and watched the fireworks light up the sky. I had such a good time with him. My heart yearned for the night to freeze so Z could stay longer and not have to go home in the morning. I love having my brother close. I was sad my sister wasn't there. (One day. One day.) He was such a good sport with his sister that has two kids. Little Man wanted to ride every ride with him. Z got to take Little Man on Tower of Terror for the first time. I was worried. I thought Little Man would like it but the mother in me was freaking out. As soon as Little Man saw me at the exit of the ride he was jumping up and down to go again. It took several minutes to get him to calm down enough to talk to him. He LOVED that ride. He's never been afraid of anything. Except frogs. (That's another story in itself)

Friday: Came to quickly. I dropped him off at the airport early. Too early for my mommy bones. Babe usually feeds around 5ish. So the plan was to leave when she was done eating. I got to bed around midnight and at 3:40 a.m. Babe decided it's 5ish and wants to eat. I try to coax her back to sleep for 40 minutes before I give up. Then I go back to bed only to wake up not long after to drop my brother off. We talk on the way to the airport and I try to hold back my tears. It's been 6 months since I've seen him. I've missed him and his visit has been too short yet refreshing. I keep telling myself that college is important and that he HAS to go back. Darn responsibilities sometimes. I get back home and flop on the bed only to have Babe wake up for the day 20 minutes later. (BIG sigh) Okay, okay. I'm getting up. She has this uncanny way of talking sooo cute that makes just want to scoop her up and talk back. Little Man wakes up and is worried because he can't find his Uncle Z. Little Man was very sad he couldn't ride the airplane with Uncle Z. The rest of the days gets even better. We had the awesome chance to tour Tanaka Farms with Little Man's preschool class which was great! We were running late getting there because I had a hard time getting my body to run on time. I get there and scramble getting both kids out, Babe in the sling, and trying to be nice with Little Man as we rush to our group. We made it in time. I make a new friend. She's from Vietnam and had a beautiful name that I can't remember. (God's mercy #1)
We chatted the whole time during the tour and I make a resolve to get her name and number before I head home. I want to get to know this awesome lady. She could teach me some things. Once the tour has ended we have the chance to buy some fresh produce which makes me giddy. (God's mercy #2) Gardening is something I will do when I have the land to do it one day. I buy a lot of good stuff and we all head back to the car.
I start digging around in my bag and am recalling where I might have put the keys. Only to recall that I DIDN'T put the keys in any bag. So I'm searching the car through the windows to find them. Can't find them but I KNOW they are inside. So I'm frantically rummaging through my bag. Little Man asks me what's wrong and I tell him through shielded tears, "Mommy locked the keys in the car." He tells me it's going to be okay and that we should say a prayer. So we kneel and he asks for helping saying a prayer. We say a sweet little prayer and I start getting on my hands and knees to look under the car again to find the keys. My new friend drives by, rolls down her window to say bye and notices right away something's wrong. I tell her and she offers to drive me back to the produce stand. (It was a bit of a walk back) I hop in her car with my stuff and the kiddos. (God's mercy #3)
I get to the stand and use their phone. It takes me about 15 minutes to find a locksmith who will answer the phone. They say the earliest they can get there is 30 minutes. Okay. Just get here please. Babe is screaming at this point because it's an hour past nap time and she's still in the sling. OH great. Stay calm. (Deep breath). So I go back to the car with my new friend and get my things and tell her a locksmith is coming. She looks at me and asks, "Are you going to be okay?" I let her know that I will and that she should get going. I know she has errands to run from our conversation earlier. Her eyes tell me that she would stay. I'll I would have to do is ask. But I don't like inconveniencing anyone.
While waiting for the locksmith to get there we stand under a canopy with bales of straw that smell like home. I'm pacing back and forth to get Babe a sleep and Little Man is saying he's hungry. So we eat the goodies that I bought. Thank goodness I had followed through with the thought the day before when I grabbed some cash, "M. Get more than you would need." (God's mercy #4)
Little Man claims he's thirsty and I realized that I have water in my bag. I vaguely remember putting it in there. (God's mercy #5). We wait about 30 minutes and the lock smith shows up.
We head back to the car and all I can think is I'm glad in my sleepless state that I somehow remembered sunscreen on the kids before we came. (God's mercy #6) I forgot myself. I can feel the burn on my arms and face. Tired. Exhausted. Sleep deprived. (sigh) The locksmith doesn't say much. Just gets to work. My car is stubborn. Doesn't want to work. What seems like an hour and half later he's got the car unlocked. I'm on the verge of tears and so grateful the kids aren't any crankier. Must be too tired to care. I pay the nice man $70 and thank him. As I'm loading the kids in the car all I can think about is two things: While I still have this car I am going to get 1) a cell phone FINALLY and 2) Roadside assistance with AAA.
The tour ended at 1 pm and all I know is we get home at 4:30. Everyone is exhausted. I don't care that it's late. We are all going to sleep. Except I can't sleep. I'm too tired to sleep. I just lay there. Trying. I finally give up and come down and get dinner ready.
You would think that the rest of the weekend would go smoothly but not so much. I don't remember much about Saturday except I was tired. So tired that the day is fuzzy. Fuzzy. Trying to remember . . . . but too fuzzy. Then T's cough starts. It sounds bad. Oh no! I'm not in a place to be nice to a sick hubby. I pray for strength and clarity. T has a rough night and I feel bad for him. Church was fuzzy as well as I'm still tired with little sleep. Sunday night I can tell T's getting worse. I'm up with him coughing but I feel bad because I want to help but don't know how. Babe is getting up every hour that night. T stayed home sick on Monday and Tuesday. I was so tired on Monday that I was walking around like a zombie. Monday's very fuzzy too. Trying . . . . to . . . remember . . . Monday . . . . . . too fuzzy. Tuesday's better. I get a nap. Oh glorious sleep! Where have you been?!

Today: I'm alert and awake after getting a full night's rest last night. I look at my house and want to scream. It's such a MESS! I can't stand looking at it. So I do nothing about it.(Am I still too tired or is it because it's such a HUGE mess?) Really. Was my week and a half THAT bad? Geez. Maybe I should hire a maid to help me dig out this mess so that I can keep it up.

Looking back over the week though I am smiling because of some wonderful glimpses.

Little Man at the idea of picking strawberries AND eating them while at Tanaka Farms. He ate more than he picked. I had to fill his basket for him. I was bummed I didn't have the camera at the time. Watching his red stained fingers grab for some ripe berries and then eat them with complete delight. Walking up and down the row looking for the perfect one. Finding it, lunging for it, and then it's gone. His shirt it stained in glory. His sweet red, juicy smile. Warms my heart to think about it.

Babe being such a sport the WHOLE week. Being cute and smiling which makes me feel happy when the circumstance would otherwise make me feel.

Z. Oh what can I say. He takes a good foam sword beating. Him laughing with Little Man. Sharing favorite food spots with him. Talking to him about girls. Why are they dumb sometimes. Wondering why it seems like less and less they want their own wills and don't want to follow the will of God. Not that their intentions aren't honorable or worthy but seeking for themselves. Which is good in moderation. But girls, if you have a good looking RM who's interested in you why are you turning the other way? Give it a chance and see where it goes. You have nothing to lose but a bit of a broken heart down the way. It really is better to have love than to have never loved at all. You learn a lot from the people you love. During our conversations I'm secretly wishing I lived closer to family so I could be more apart of their daily, weekly, or monthly lives. Only I realize I have a family of my own here with INCREDIBLE friends nearby who I consider family.

As I close this day I think of the wonderful mercies God gave me that fateful Friday. How He KNEW it was going to happen and made sure that I had the things I needed. How my children where SO good that day and how I made a new friend.

My body and mind are still tired. My house is still a mess. Looking back over the week I learned a few things. In my tired state I realized how rude/ornery I had become with my little family. Especially with Little Man and T. Ouch. I had less energy to be mean and realized that I have been causing a lot of stress in the family. I've been asking for that day. You see I've been praying to know how I can help my family be more united and how I, ME, MYSELF, can change to make that change take effect. Friday happened so that I would be drained so that I could SEE. I asked and I got. I'm still SEEING and as I'm looking I'm taking notes. Notes on what I can do to be better.

Perhaps I'll start with soothing Little Man when is upset/mad/frustrated/sad/crying and see why HE'S feeling that way. I think that's a start. Perhaps the dishes can be next. I'll start there.

Good night!